When 1 + 1 Doesn’t Equal 2

Oh, these Brazilians do love their English. They’ll put it on anything. Sometimes they like to mix and match. They often have no idea what they’re actually saying. So I had a good chuckle when my very god-fearing in-laws checked in on Facebook (or “The Face-EE” as they call it down here), at the “Top Less”…

Parking Job

Wandering the streets of Belo Horizonte we looked up and were dumbstruck by this parking job.  Now, I’m not sure what to marvel at first: the courage of the driver, the daring nature of the plan, or the apparent teeny size of the parking lot that led to this predicament.  In any case, bravo.  I’ll…

Laundry Surprise

I brought in the laundry the other day, only to find that my jean dress sounded slightly scratchy. We’ve had stowaways before–grasshoppers, praying mantises, but never one this size! Apparently our local chameleons don’t do denim blue.

Saturday Night Cruisin’

Saturdays are tough, man. It’s the day where our week SHOULD be ended, but we both drag ourselves through one.more.day. In our little town, it’s the day that all the folks come in from the hills to sell their vegetables at the market and run their errands. So Mr. Crônicas has to open the store, come hell…

‘Merrica, Can We Talk?

[Scene – A car in a mall parking lot, in a Red State somewhere.] California: Middle America, honey, can we talk? I know I said I needed a new dress for the Inaugural Ball, and the help of my best gals to pick it out, but that was a lie. Your wedding is just a…

Elevator Talk

They were all waiting for the elevator: a businessman, a young man and his stylish wife. Three in a row, all staring at their cell phones.  The young man sighed and reached out to impatiently tap the “Up” button again. The tall, thin Steve Buschemi look-alike in the business suit looked up. “It’s on strike,”…

Fotocrônica: Cattle Country

It was a Friday night and we were driving down Main Street. There was a COW ambling down the opposite lane. No one was behind her, no one trying to get her back into a corral, she was just on her way up the block. This gives you an idea of how rurally imbedded we…

The Oxymoron of American Pizza in Brazil

Brazilians have a funny idea of what is American. It’s a cross between what they see on TV and what they think is cool (which may or may not have anything to do with actual American customs. To point, behold the “American Pizza” we enjoyed last night: sausage (check), cheese (check), sauce (check), ham (check),…

Crazy Kitchen Chickens

Our outdoor kitchen is infested with crazy chickens. Crazy or just incredibly dumb, but then dumb just comes with chicken territory. These two ladies take the cake, though. It all started normally enough, with them selecting roosting spots within the kitchen. Ever seen it happen? It’s cute. Like newlyweds apartment hunting, the rooster leads the hens…

Aerial Slumber Party

Have you ever flown internationally? Something strange happens when you pack two hundred people together in a confined space for nine to twelve hours. We lose all sense of propriety; really, it takes a strong individual to stand on formality past the second hour. First shoes come off, before you know it we’re telling deepest…

Fotocrônica: Too Many Avocados?

I suppose it’s possible to have too much of a good thing. Too many avocados? I’m not sure that’s possible. What? You don’t store your extra avocados in the oven?